


I Was Doing Fine Without You

by MaskofCognito



Series: Alternative Nano Challenge [6]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Alternative Nano Challenge, Hopeful Ending, M/M, New Beginning, One Shot, Reunion, Short, alternative universe, complicated feelings, ex-lovers, old flame
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-06
Updated: 2019-11-06
Packaged: 2021-01-24 07:02:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21334162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaskofCognito/pseuds/MaskofCognito
Summary: Castiel is on a very normal, average grocery-shopping trip when he runs into his unresolved past. He isnotprepared.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Jody Mills/Bobby Singer
Series: Alternative Nano Challenge [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1534499
Comments: 8
Kudos: 37





	I Was Doing Fine Without You

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Reunion

Castiel does a double take. It hurts so bad that before his eyes actually retake in what he thought he saw, his eyes squeeze shut in pain reflexively. He reaches to massage his neck while, internally, he asks himself if it was worth it. He's pretty certain he's been seen.

"Cas! Hey, man. Haven't seen you in… over five years?" Dean's voice hasn't changed and Castiel sinks his elbows down on the shopping carts handles as he works the muscles he might have sprained. "Hey, you okay?"

"Neck. Just, pulled a muscle."

Dean waves his hands away and grounds his palm into the offending soreness. Castiel lets out a low moan, and Dean's other hand touches his chest and coaxes him back to a standing position. 

"Feels pretty tight," Dean smirks at him and, posture straight, Castiel finally gets a good look at his ex.

Five years ago, Dean and Castiel dated in college— or more accurately, Castiel dated Dean, and Dean dated a few people at the same time. He'd mentioned not wanting to settle down yet, and wanting to experience the best life had to offer while he was still young and free. Relationships bind you, and Dean needed the option to fly about. And he did just that.

Castiel knew about all of it, but he still stayed with Dean until he finally reached his breaking point and moved from Stanford, California to Overland Park, Kansas. 

Apparently he didn't run away far enough.

"Wha—" Castiel's voice cracks before he can swallow it down. He coughs and swats Dean's hand away. "What are you doing here?"

Dean looks down at the shopping basket in his hands and smiles at Castiel. "Well, I'm buying ingredients for my famous homemade Cherry pie."

"I meant in Kansas."

"Oh," Dean grabs at his own neck, and Castiel remembers it being his tell for when he was unsure or anxious about something. "Uh, Uncle Bobby retired from his auto shop. He told me he didn’t want to sell it, but he’s tired of running it and wants to have his old man retirement with Jody, already.”

Dean shifts his feet, a smile growing across his lips. “He wanted me to take it over. And I have. Well, kind of. I’ve been sworn to dutifully look after it and that’s it. As it’s owner. He wouldn’t let me quit a job I enjoyed and worked hard to obtain with my so-called fancy degree.” 

Castiel may not have wanted to see Dean, and perhaps it’s bringing up some complicated feelings involving the past, but he cannot help the warmth that grows his chest. This has always been how Dean got his way. His charismatic ability to genuinely care about everyone around him and always be there, no matter what, made him irresistible. Dean was damn near a perfect lover, but damn if it didn’t come with a disclaimer; by no means get deeply attached. Dean is fire, and fire will always burn.

“That— that sounds good. It sounds like you’re doing good. And hey,” Castiel gestures to the whole of Dean Winchester, “you’re looking good, too.”

“Thanks,” Dean’s smile is sincere and his eyes crinkle just the tiniest bit. “You’re looking quite fine, yourself. How is everything here in Kansas going for you? You just kind of bounced in the middle of the last semester. I was worried about you.”

Castiel remembers not being able to take anymore when he walked in one evening to Dean entertaining Meg Masters on their common room couch. His hand was thrown around her and she was jerking him off while they were watching The Great British Bake-off. It would normally have been fine, but it was the third time that week that he’d walked in on his sexcapades and he had been watching a show they only watched together. 

It was too much.

“My mom fell ill, and I took leave to return home,” he lies. Well, it isn’t a complete lie. Sure, his mom was indeed sick, but it was only the common cold or allergies. And he did take leave, but the cause was heartbreak and needing distance. “After a short time, I transferred to KU and finished out my degree. Now I’m working as a trial drug researcher at the college.”

“Wow,” Dean let the word drawl out, nodding his head. “The might scholar Novak. Impressive.”

They stand in a tense silence for a moment. 

“Well, see—“ Castiel starts and is immediately interrupted.

“I really missed you, ya know.” Dean’s stance shifts a bit. “You never replied to any of my messages, or even answered your phone. I left you,” his hand lifts in the air before falling back down at his side, “over twenty-something messages on your voicemail. And when I finally did get a reply it was someone telling me I had the wrong number.”

Castiel stays quiet. He remembers clutching his phone, drunk and crying while reading and listening to those messages. By the time he had made the decision to change his number, there had only been about seven voicemails. He ended up treating the whole ordeal like he was an addict. He went through all the stages of A.A (modified) in secrecy and swore never to go back to Stanford in case he was too weak and relapsed. 

Now, it doesn’t seem like he has much choice in the matter. Sometimes, no matter what you do, life just happens to you.

“Do you…” Dean begins, startling Castiel from his thoughts. “Do you maybe wanna grab a coffee with me sometime?”

No. This is bad. Dean Winchester is bad news and always will be. He couldn’t have changed much in five years, could he? No. He swore to stay away. He’s an addict, and Dean Winchester is his drug. No. He shouldn’t. He should just leave and tell Dean while it was good seeing him again, they shouldn’t ever cross paths in the future. 

He should say no. “Ye— Yeah, yes. Of course.” Castiel nods.

Dean’s face erupts in elation and he rummages in his back pocket, producing a business card. He grabs a pen clipped to a small notebook, stashed in his basket, and scribbles a date and time and place. “If you can’t make it, my cell is on there, too.” His eyes flit back between Castiel’s. “You seem like you were busy before, so… I’ll just let you get back to it.” Dean grabs one of Castiel’s open hands and places the card in it with his other. 

Dean’s hands slip away and he walks past. Castiel moves to walk in the opposite direction, but Dean’s voice makes him look back, and he’s once again reminded of pain in his neck. 

“And Cas,” Dean smirks in a way that Castiel knows isn’t smug but a sultry confidence. He’s not even certain Dean even knows how this face of his affects people. “It was really great seeing you again.” And he turns and walks away.

Castiel’s heart is hammering in his chest. Fuck. What did he just agree to? Shit. Fuck. Fuck. Damnit. He can feel himself slipping and falling. All over again.

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't want to write for Nano and commit to 50k when I know that a) I'm not great at long story commitments, and b) my life is a bit busy. However, I didn't want to NOT write this month. So, I decided to commit to a prompt a day for the month of November of whichever fandom I enjoy which gives the prompt the most spark. I'm using [this](https://n7month.tumblr.com/post/188450175349/n7-month-challenge) prompt list I found from tumblr, in case anyone wants to reference it or join in.


End file.
